and now im pregnant
and now im pregnant
and nothing is different. im still living everyday in a comfortable state of disillusion.
here is some zq
I like tequila.
It makes the pain go away. Well, not really, but it makes me not care.
Yeah. This is really hot to me. I'm not sure why...
my muscles are sore from starting my workout schedule. Its not painful, just noticable. I actually kind of like the feeling.
Zachary Quinto needs to come visit me.
This is the tribute we have on the kitchen wall.
My only contribution is the little flower in the bottom corner
matt saved my life today.
we taking our smoke break and he just stopped and his eyes got all big and was like "dont move and lift your shirt up slowly"
i freaked and froze on the spot. he kept telling me to lift my shirt a little bit. i barely touched it and felt something move. i couldn't do it. so he had to lift up my shirt a bit and swatted the biggest goddamn bee i've ever seen in my life off the waist of my pants.
i shook for like ten minutes after. srsly. i fucking hate bugs.
I went grocery shopping today and actually bought food that wasn't lunchables, ramen or some sort of potted pie. I was in the cereal isle and grabbed Reese's Puffs and spotted a lovely box of Corn Pops. I grabbed it but then realized the one behind it came with a prize. A star trek prize. So despite the tormenting I got from matt, I bought the one with the toy. You could get one of three starfleet insignias (command,science/medical or communication), a romulan symbol or klingon. I had my hopes for a red communication or blue science. I got the Klingon one.
I guess I just have to buy another box next week.
In about an hour I am going to be breathing the same air as:
Anyone who knows me knows how important of a day this is.
I have never passed out before but goddamn it, theres a first time for everything.
Eat some Arby's
(Like a Boss)
Watch Conan like
(Like a Boss)
(Like a Boss)
Post a tweet
(Like a Boss)
(Like a Boss)
Look at ZQ
(Like a Boss)
(Like a Boss)
Realize its a dream
(Like a Boss)
(Like a Boss)
(Like a Boss)
Go to sleep
(Like a Boss)
i can hear the boys watching soft core showtime porn in the living room.
Is it completely and utterly nerdy that I am listening to the star trek audiobook read by zachary quinto?
Because if it is, I'm totally not listening to it.
I'm watching shogun assassins with matt.
this shit is redonkulous.
i wish i could be in a kirk/spock sandwich.
im watching season 2 of dexter with matt. i got him hooked on it. he should have been watching it from the first place.
it's been a month since i started that job. loves it. everyone i work with is some sort of eccentric. rebecca, who sits next to me, gave me a present of a gray fake moustache. awesome. my boss, who is super cute, pretty much has a desire to fuck with people constantly.
my apartment is pretty fantastic. i still have to get a night stand and fix my room up more.
hopefully going to see star trek with m@t and brandon tomorrow.
oh yeah, nana used her best buy card to buy me a laptop and rock band. of course i'm gonna pay it back, just monthly.
Got a new job working at the place Matt and Jack work.
Today is day two and its pretty awesome so far. I expect to be here a long time.
Life is an asshole.
And it's shittin all over me right now.
I like guys who have what I call "freckle-moles" on their faces. It's not full blown freckles like gingers get, but they are not big nasty moles that are raised above the skin.
Here are my favs.
Paul Banks from Interpol
Brandon Boyd from Incubus
and last but not least
I will marry Jason Segel one day. It will happen.
It's that time again. Time for Tiffany's short form letters to celebrities. Enjoy.
Dear Andy Samberg,
I can't tell if you are hot or not. It's really messing with my head.
I have the same problem when I look in the mirror.
Dear Sean Penn,
Mickey Rourke should have won.
My mouth is so very tiny.
Dear Stephen Colbert,
I'm gonna need you to stop popping up in my dreams and trying to make out with me? kthnx.
Don't act like you don't want it.
Dear Flight of the Conchords,
Can you let me move in with you in your fake tv apartment? I can sleep on the floor between your two beds.
No. Stop writing to us.
In other news, I have decided to mail in an audition tape for the biggest loser.
In honor of the Oscar's, which I will be watching because Michelle doesn't have cable, I've decided to give you guys a look at what I will be wearing tonight in celebration. Alone.
As you can see, I've lost quite a bit of weight, oddly enough none from my face though. And Jorma is my date. And he's very excited about it.
So yet another V-Day has come and I have no valentine. Or do I? It seems I found evidence that at least one devilishly handsome gentlemen has been thinking about me.
Embedded video from CNN Video
Check that shit out. Go halfway through. Yeah. That's my grandparents.
Bow to my icon, for it is the greatest.
I'm on my ninth straight day of working. only sun and mon to go. I hope i make it.
1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?
Someone telling me I've won the lottery. Realistically? Matt, Kristina Jeromy or Jayce
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yeah, outside in the little kiosk thingy. I know those people don't make much and I don't wanna make their job harder.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Listener. I don't like being in the public eye and talking would just draw more attention to myself.
4. Do you take compliments well?
Not at all. I'm very paranoid so any compliment I get I feel is sarcasm.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
I used to be obsessed with it but I haven't picked up one of those books in a while.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I might for a little bit. I have enough stored fat to last a while and I know basic skills regarding water and shelter and berries and shit.
7. Do you like to ride horses?
I've not been small enough to ride a horse since I was like 7. Last animal I remember being on the back of was an Elephant when I was a kid at the zoo (they stopped doing that sadly. It was the shit)
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Never ever. I just went down to the Lake House all the time.
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Hide and Seek, Kickball, pretending to be Catwoman or April from the Ninja Turtles
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
This question is void. No one sexy would ever pursue me.
11. Have you lied to get out of a date?
Null and void. Haven't been asked on a date in years.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
As long as it wasn't insane, cultish or they took it entirely too seriously. All my friends say I'm gonna a marry a Jew so there ya go...
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I refuse to actively seek out anyone. Rejection is a terrible thing.
14. Use three words to describe yourself?
self laothing narcissist
15. Do any songs make you cry?
Maybe three of four. And they all have to do with my sister.
16. Are you continuing your education?
It was a horrible mistake trying to continue it to begin with. I'm degree-less, $35,000 in debt and can't go back because I can't get any loans.
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Barely. I know how to do it, but my aim is shite.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
19. How often do you read books?
Used to all the time then I sorta went stupid and couldn't concentrate long enough to read/write anything, then I read the Twilight series very quickly (its just as bad as you can imagine). That was like 3 months ago and I haven't read a book since then.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Past and future. Things I shoulda done, things I shouldn't have done and things I should do.
21. What is your favorite children's book?
As a itty bitty kid I always like The Pokey Little Puppy, The Hungry Little Catapillar and Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you see? As I got older read all the Box Car Children, Some Babysitters Club and Animorphs.
22. What color are your eyes?
Blue-gray. Depends on my mood
23. How tall are you?
24. Where is your dream house located?
I wouldn't care as long as it was nice and I didn't live there alone.
25. Do you have a secret fetish?
26. Have you tried sushi?
Sure have. It's pretty awesome.
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Used to all the time. Last one was at a Bridal Expo with Kristina when she was looking at wedding stuff. We did it for free. The guy running it kept handing us random shit (hulk hands, giant glasses, boas, hats, bunny ears and shit) in between each pic. Pretty funny.
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
A year ago? I don't know it was with Josh and Kristina.
29. When was the last time you were at Church?
In a church? Couple of months ago helping Mat's mom clean it. Attending service? It was with Tabby is all I know.
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
From home to work, about 17 miles.
31. What was your favorite job?
I really liked the Insight one. I just listened to my ipod all day while doing provisioning on phone services. I sometimes miss the atmosphere at Actors Theatre too.
32. Do you like mustard?
It's the bees knees
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both. And its true what they say...you don't get a dove outta two hawk eggs.
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
usually half an hour. I have a routine.
36. Can you do the splits?
I sometimes can trick myself into thinking I can. I can get done pretty far for someone my size, but not allllll the way.
37.What movie do you want to see right now?
Milk and The Tale of Desperaux
38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
No. If I did I'd be too intrigued but what lead to where I was.
39. What did you do for New Year's?
Drank a lot of jagerbombs with Kristina and Kasey and played a lot of rockband and drunk jenga.
40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
I never saw it.
41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?
42. Do you own a camera phone?
Nope. Bare essentials.
43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?
Am I thirteen? I destroyed them.
44.Was your mom a cheerleader?
Ha. No. It's hard to cheerlead when you are 15 and pregnant.
45.What's the last letter of your middle name?
46. Do you like your middle name?
Theres nothing special about it.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
If it's a work night 5-7. If it's not like 10-12.
48. Do you like care bears?
They are ok I guess. Reminds me of childhood but I don't buy them or anything.
49. What do you buy at the movies?
Usually nothing but tickets. I ain't got the money for $10 soda
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Sure do. One day when I have money and free time I wanna do Texas Hold'Em Tournaments
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
52. What do you wear to sleep?
Either pajamas or just a wifebeater.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
54. How many meals do you eat a day?
Two usually. One sometimes.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
56.Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?
Not that I remember.
57.Do you read myspace bulletins?
depending on who posted them.
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I'm pretty sure I can't go half and hour without at least cracking a smile.
59. Ever been to L.A.
60. Did you eat a cookie today?
61.Do you use cuss words in other languages?
I know a few.
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I haven't downloaded anything in a while.
63. Do you hate chocolate?
It's pretty awesome actually.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Don't really fight with my mom about anything. I hardly ever talk to my dad.
65. Are you a gullible person?
I'm skeptical of everyone/everything
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Writer/Lottery Winner/Ice Cream Tester/Mattress Tester
68. Are you easy to get along with?
I like to think so.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
Dusk. Or whenever I get to log-off the phones and go home
As you can see by my newest icon I have a new obsession. His name is Sheldon and I love him. I want his babies.
So it's a new year and all the jazz. Right. Last year was quite lackluster. I have no stellar expectations for 2009. Just to keep on trucking i suppose.
So at work I had changed to the weekend shift if you weren't aware. I work fri sat sun and mon, 8 hours fri and mon 12 on sat and sun. I still get my 40 hours a week but get 3 days off. It's ballin. But they are starting the big training for the new database system not this week but next. It's Mon-Fri. So that means I'm gonna be working 11 days in a row. That also means 24 hours overtime at 18/hr. FAT MONEY.
I'm gonna need some help to keep from killing myself though. It shouldnt be too bad considering the time during the week I wont be on the phones, just stuck in a training class, so yeah.
Unless I get denied by the complex (or if Matt backs out), I'll have an apartment first of Feb with Matt. Kind of exciting, ngl.
I want to punch the wind in the face. It's its fault I've been so busy today. It's also its fault that when I go home my power will more than likely be out.
That is not cool.
Christmas is stupid this year. The reason? I have had no money. I've literally not bought a single gift for anyone. I'm gonna scrounge to try and get nana and papaw a little something. mom can wait since i dont get mine from her til after the first of the year. my friends will get theirs around that time too.
also, i like the big bang theory. it makes me smile to see a show where most of the jokes are about things i know/care about. also sheldon owns my heart.
i am excited about the new episodes of scrubs. i didn't start watching that til last year (wwwaaaaaaaaay behind i know) but im anxious to find out Janitor's real name.
I've got 23 minutes left of work.
God, I hope I can make it.
My friend Mike is weird.
Mike(7:59:29 PM): What's up?
Stiffinifty (7:59:43 PM): just got outta the shower, getting ready to kill a few people
Mike (7:59:54 PM): Is Steph Meyer one?
Mike (8:00:01 PM): That bitch needs to give up the word Decimate
Stiffinifty (8:00:06 PM): lol
Mike (8:00:10 PM): I'm going to hunt and destroy her
Stiffinifty (8:00:19 PM): fucking do it. ill pay you
Mike (8:00:58 PM): That pissed me off so much
Mike (8:01:05 PM): how do you decimate one person?
Stiffinifty (8:01:08 PM): lol
Mike (8:01:11 PM): That uneducated bitch
Stiffinifty (8:01:15 PM): so are you done with them?
Mike (8:02:14 PM): no
Mike (8:02:31 PM): I'm like a paragraph before they go home from their honeymoon
Stiffinifty (8:02:52 PM): oh
Stiffinifty (8:02:54 PM): lol
Stiffinifty (8:03:06 PM): so were you chagrined but her cockblocking?
Mike (8:03:33 PM): when?
Mike(8:03:38 PM): I'm trying to remember
Mike (8:03:44 PM): are you talking about him blocking his own cock?
Stiffinifty (8:03:48 PM): yeah
Stiffinifty (8:03:49 PM): lol
Mike (8:04:20 PM): Yeah...that was weird
Mike(8:04:27 PM): I mean...I understand his concerns
Mike(8:04:35 PM): he's a powerful creature and all
Stiffinifty (8:04:47 PM): i was hoping she'd at least describe something
Mike (8:04:50 PM): me too
Stiffinifty (8:04:57 PM): im assume his dick is like granite
Mike (8:04:58 PM): I wanted to know what was dangerous
Stiffinifty (8:05:00 PM): lol
Mike (8:05:31 PM): I wanted to hear about him cracking her pelvis with his marble boner jamming in at lightening speed
Stiffinifty (8:05:40 PM): LMAO
Stiffinifty (8:05:49 PM): to powder my friend
Mike (8:06:04 PM): I mean...he would
Mike (8:06:14 PM): if he loses control, it would only make sense
Stiffinifty (8:06:21 PM): omg im dying
Stiffinifty (8:06:27 PM): you should join twatlight
Mike(8:06:40 PM): He must not have been having fun
Stiffinifty (8:06:59 PM): just laying there letting her do all the work
Stiffinifty (8:07:03 PM): eating pillows and shit
Mike (8:07:08 PM): The way I see it, it was probably at half mass the whole time, trying to concentrate on not killing her
Mike (8:08:05 PM): It would be like a human trying to jack off through the exact center of a ring of fire or something
Mike(8:08:11 PM): too much contenrtation
Mike (8:08:26 PM): I would lose a boner in those circumstances
Stiffinifty (8:08:35 PM): LMAO
The Failbot. I will be your captain
tomorrow is my birthday.
i'll be 23.
And I couldn't give a shit less.
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I was entertained with Twilight, New Moon had a little bit of drama, Eclipse had some twists but srsly...Breaking Dawn? Did you read fanfiction.net for the plot for that shit? Really??? And Renesmee? Were you fucking high?
You are hurting my feelings with those words. Tears are in my eyes. I'm gonna go listen to Muse now and masturbate while pretending I'm a 19 year old Vampire.
You a bitch.
I'm sorry, I couldn't read your letter because I was too busy flicking my bean to my reflection.
I sometimes forget you exist. You should speak up more often. Also you should kill people. I would enjoy it.
Don't worry. I get my share done when the fam isn't watching.
You should help a sista out and go ahead and give me them powerball numbers. I got bills to pay.
That would be abusing my power....jk. 3 15 21 23 42 9. You have to buy me a fancy dress when you when. Nothing cheap either.
I don't care if you were born in the Civil War Era, that's no excuse for your hair or your cowboy boots. Mr. Bill Compton was born in that too and you don't see him running around lookin a hot mess.
P.S. I'd still hit tho...
I didn't want to wear those. Alice made me. I'd be perfectly content in old sneakers and a gym shorts. Alice would kill me...she's so...scary.
I need a papsmear. Wanna do it?
My dear if you are in need of medical assistance I will gladly do it free of charge.
Being a werewolf that falls in love with a toddler after an uniteresting,undesirable girl rejects you for a pretty rich vamp is no way to go through life son.
I know. I'm an idiot. There's plenty of hot Native American ass on my land but I choose a little curly headed freaky cheek toucher.
Fucking Really? You should've let Carlisle give you an abortion. Maybe then that trauma might have given you a personality.
I had to do something to make Edward stay. Lord knows he will wise up eventually and leave my ass.
Bella, huh? That spanish influenza must have fucked your head up. At least Rosalie is hot. I eat ice cream all the time, I'd bet I'd smell good to you too. And I can hold a conversation.
I know that now. After a year I realized that. If we didn't have this damn freak baby I'd be outta there in a second. I've killed deer with more personality.
fuck you twilight
You really need a ricola or something cuz that shit going on with your voice is ridonkulous.
I'M THE GOD DAMN BATMAN!
Dear The Joker,
I'm gonna have to ask you to stop freaking me the fuck out.
You would think I would say "Why So Serious?" but that's not who I really am. I am deeply sorry for any discomfort I may have caused you.
Dear John McCain,
If it wasn't for the fact that when you speak your jowels amuse me, I would wish terrible things on you.
It was so nice to hear from my granddaughter . And I would love some pancakes.
Dear Bill O'Reily,
You keep your liberal mouth shut. I'll contridict myself all I want. I'm old, white and Republican--no one can touch me.
Dear Barack Obama,
I smell what Barack is cooking.
Thanks. Click here now to donate $5 and hope to change the world.
Dear Robert Downey Jr,
Dear Zac Efron,
I would appreciate it if you would stop being prettier than me.
Don't be a hater.
Dear Ben Stiller,
I don't care what Kasey says, you're sexy.
This Kasey person sounds like an ex-Morman to me. Therefore her opinion doesn't matter the chosen people.
Dear Daniel Radcliffe,
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing your half naked ass with horses.
P.S. I'm just joshing with your buttons. More please.
Please, for the love of god stop writing me letters.
Dear Brad Pitt,
You ain't that cute so stop acting like you are.
Please. Save Me. I fucking hate children.
Dear Sarah Palin,
Bitch. Your days are numbered.
As long as those days are filled with teen pregnancies, guns, spitting on poor people and gays not being married, thats fine with me.
Dear Tom Cruise,
Stop trying to hypnotize me with your eyes.
Dear Robert Downey Jr,
ATTENTION SARAH SUZIE
I will try and get to see you sometime soon. I've had a lot of shit going on and I feel like ass for not talking to you in like 48 zillion years. I'm working full time at LG&E and I'm getting ready to start at McDonald's part time.
So everyone else, yeah, I have no life at all.
I'm in nesting at work now, which means I have my own desk but I'm still not "on my own" officially. This is week 2 of nesting and I just now put a personal touch at my cubical: A big ol pic of Robert Downey JR as Tony Stark from an old issue of Wizard. I swear to god I noticed a difference in my attitude today when I got a difficult call and would just look over at it. God Bless you Robert Downey Jr.
Watching Robert Downey Jr ride Jack Black like a pony, while spanking his ass was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
This happened like 2 months ago but I was thinking about it and it's funny.
Me, Kristina and Matt were at the Hillview Lounge, which is sorta kind of a edneck bar during the week but plays pop and hip hop on the weekends.
We were shooting some pool and there were 4 guys sitting right behind us drinking. One guy, wearing camo of course, was telling the other guys a story.
"So I'm out there in my boat and the motherfuckin' game warden comes ridin' up talkin to me tellin me I can't fish here. I looked at the sumbitch and I sez to him I sez....You don't own the river. I can fish wherever I want."
The three of us still laugh about that.
Gotta go donate my plasma now to get some spending money. I think I might spend that money on booze but I haven't decided yet.
i like livejournal because i can use different icons for different posts.
its a shame hardly anyone reads anymore.
i guess i'm not really helping my not posting but every few weeks.
It's nice outside.
The assignment at my ballin job ended a few weeks ago. I've been sad because of it. But I had an interview for another position at the same place (Insight Cable). I macked the interview, made them laugh and had a nice firm handshake. I got that shit in the bag son.
my new job is ballin
So apparently there is some kinda of (friendly?) war going on between Conan and Stephen Colbert. I was watching Conan and found out about it. Apparently it sprung up because of Mike Huckabee. Conan did a bit about Huckabee and had some weird slogan for Huckabee and he ended up doing well in one of the Primaries. So Conan said it was because of his slogan. But on the Colbert Report Stephen called Conan out and said He made Huckabee and not Conan. And then he called Conan pasty and Irish and that he thought they were friends despite what happened the last time he was on the show (followed by a clip on Stephen on Conan where Conan says "I have no choice" and pulls out a gun and shoots him in the heart, lol). So Conan fired back tonight after playing that clip saying that first off, he shot him in the artery that leads to the heart and not his heart directly and that just mentioning Stephen breathes life into the Colbert Report so therefore if Colbert made Huckabee and Conan made Colbert, then Conan also made Huckabee. He then responded to the Irish comment by saying he would never stoop as low to make fun of someones Heritage and proceeded to get in front of a backdrop of Paris, get on a stationary bike, put on a black fake mustache, a beret and munch on a loaf of french bread, saying that Colbert sounds super French.
I have a job interview tomorrow with the cable company. 12 bucks an hour. I'm praying to the great lord that I get it. If I don't I'm seriously gonna kill someone.
So I went to the mall today for the first time in FOREVER. I stopped at Hot Topic to graze the clearance rack. So guess who got A red Gryffindor shirt, some red/black argyle vans slip ons, two Harry Potter notebooks and two Harry Potter folders for $16? Me, negro, thats who. I'm so happy to be able to sport my nerdiness so profoundly now.
Also, I fucking hate the mall.